Friday, May 23, 2008

Judyta from Poland

An inquiry was submitted for ad #38768 posted on GaijinPot
Details follow:

Name of sender: Judyta Williams
Email of sender:
Message: Hello,

This is judyta from Poland.

I am writing from the hospital in Cote d’Ivoire, therefore this mail is very urgent as you can see that I am going home.

I was told by the doctor that I was poisoned and has got my liver damaged and can only live for some months.

I inherited some money ($5.700 Million) from my late father and I cannot think of anybody trying to kill me apart from my step mother in order to inherit the money, she is an Ivorian by nationality.

This liver problem started immediately after the will was reveal to the family, so I want you to contact

This nurse with this information below:

Mrs Hannah Christopher.

Address: Rue De La Princess L/G 152 CoCody

Abidjan, Cote D'Ivoire.


She will give you the documents of the money and will direct you to a well known lawyer that I have appointed to her, the lawyer will assist you to change the documents of the money to your name to enable the bank transfer the money to you.

This is what I want you to do when you have gotten the money:-

(1) Give 5% of the money to my nurse, Mrs Hannah as she has been there for me throughout my illness and I have promised to support her in life. I want you to take her along with you to your country for her to continue her education because she just finish her secondary education I want you to enrol her in to the university.

(2) Give 90% of the money to Charity Organisations and Churches on my name so that my soul may rest in peace.

The remaining 5% should be for you and the people you wish to help in life.


This should be a code between you and Mrs Hannah in this transaction "25486345" any mail from her, the barrister he will direct you to, without this code "25486345" is not from the barrister, Hannah, the bank or myself as I don't know what will happen to me in the next few hours.

Request the lawyer's international passport, his name is Alexandre Clement. And let Hannah send you her National ID as to be sure of whom you are dealing with. Hannah is so little therefore guide her.

And if I don't hear from you within two days, I will look for another person.

May God bless you and use you to accomplish my wish.

Pray for me always.

Judyta William.

Thank you Father.

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Thursday, May 15, 2008

From the Wonderful World of Employment

Those of you who have been with me from the beginning will remember my memorable tale of merriment and melancholy when I attempted to interview for a position at Baltimore's Museum of Industry. If you don't remember, here is the actual post. The other day I had a job interview in Tokyo just as memorable, both in the merriment and melancholy categories.

A man I will call H.M. contacted me about the possibility of employing me as a teacher with his company. H.M. does not own said company, which we will call C.E.R., but runs one of the branches and asked me to come in to meet with both him and his boss. After getting over my initial fear that I would be sliced to death with my own resume and left for dead by some psycho anti-gaijin, I put on my nicest "employ me or die" outfit and headed out.

Firstly, this place is in the Ota ward of Tokyo and a good hour and a half from my parent's house. I made it the entire way without getting lost, although I did get confused in Yokohama station and literally stood on the platform staring blankly at my train for a full minute trying to figure out if it was actually my train. The train waits for no one and closed it's doors to roll off down the line and leave me staring stupidly behind it. I did eventually regain my senses and ended up getting to the correct station on time instead of early.

One of the first things H.M. said to me when he met me at the train station was that he does not like Japanese people. Odder still, the owner of C.E.R. (a Japanese man), also declared that he does not like Japanese people. Also, that his goal is to have every Japanese person speaking English. Oh yeah, and the school is named after a condo he owns in the mid-west of America. Who owns vacation condos in the mid-west?

So they asked me to come back the next day, which I did, and teach two classes, which I also did, then told me that I will come back next Friday and teach the same classes, which I will. They'll try and process my information for a working visa and the pay would be awesome if I could get full time hours. So this is good, but I'll still apply for some positions on base (which will give me more vacation time and eventually may allow me free housing) and see if I can't get one of those.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

You Tube? "Cleaning My Nose"

Mr. Herve

An inquiry was submitted for ad #38768 posted on GaijinPot
Details follow:

Name of sender: charles
Email of sender:
Message: From Charles Herve

Abidjan Cote d'Ivoire


My dear,

I am Charles Herve and I inherited an important sum of money from my late father who died in a recent crisis in Cote d'Ivoire. I wish to request for your assistance in investing this money in a lucrative venture under your directives and guidance in your country. I want you to assist me for the transfer of this sum of Eight million, five hundred thousand United State Dollars ( $8.500,000 ) to your account designate hence I will give you the contact of the bank where the money is so that you can contact them immediately and discuss with them since I do not know much about financial issues. I will give you some resonable percentage from the total sum for your assistance while I pray that you do not betray me at last. Please it is important you contact me immediately for more clarifications on the next step hence it is my wish to relocate to your country as soon as this transaction is concluded.

God bless you.

Charles Herve.

Tel: +22508622124.

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Friday, May 9, 2008

Earthquakes? How inconvenient.

Earthquakes at night are okay. I live on the second floor of a house and sleep in a bed towered over by three ceiling-high bookcases. If the world was to fall apart around me, there's really not a lot I could do to save myself. So I roll over and go back to bed without much thought. I usually don't even remember there was an earthquake unless someone reminds me the next day.

The other night, two shock waves from an earthquake rolled past my house. After being woken up by the first wave and turning over to go back to sleep, I was shaken more violently awake on the second round only to wonder briefly if the ground was shaking enough to make the towering bookcases in my room fall on top of me. Then I rolled over and went back to sleep.

A few mornings later, I was reading a book in a chair with my coffee all snuggled in my bathrobe when another shock wave hit the house. I heard my mother get out of bed upstairs when it passed. Now, when it's the middle of the night and I'm half awake and can just let the shaking lull me back to sleep, that is one thing, but when I'm up and conscious, well that's just rude. If I can visualize my parent's four-post bed with my mother still lying in it crashing down and crushing me in my bathrobe, coffee mug in one hand, book in the other, I categorize that as not cool.

Other places I'd categorize as "definitely not cool" to be when an earthquake hits:
apartment building
cable car (did that)
motorcycle or scooter or bicycle
scuba diving